today

Curious hands & chubby fingers made me happy.

Our Christmas

As I lay here in bed listening to Ryan while he sleeps, I can say without a doubt, this was the best Christmas ever.





Hoping you and yours had a very special holiday and we wish you the best for the new year.

-C

our first family photos

This last Saturday we had a friend take our first family photos. I was starting to have a lot of regret for not having maternity or newborn photos taken of myself and Ryan. I mentioned it to Jim and he said we could still get photos done while Ryan is still itty bitty. Though he's not his newborn 7lbs, these are still so fabulous.

All photos were taken by Ciera of Pixiedust Photography. She's an incredibly talented photographer with a passion for child and family photography. You can find her work on her blog, Pixiedust Photography and her Facebook page.

discovering new things

I've seen a lot of change in Ryan over this last week. He's suddenly becoming so much more aware of the things around him. He has been grasping at his blanket or burp cloth, feeling and inspecting it, and moving them around.

I had literally given him a toy just last weekend to see if he'd like looking at it. I'm not even sure he realized it was there. After this new discovery, I pulled out a little stuffed elephant that was given to him to see if he'd be interested in it. My goodness, does he like it!

He loves to hold on to it. Regardless of whether he's actively playing with it, his little hand is grasping an ear or a foot on that little elephant. He'll sit and have a whole baby conversation with it. Cooing, smiling and giggling at it. I find it so fascinating. I was afraid of losing that tiny, cuddly infant, but these new discoveries sure are fun.

let's get real here: the weight debate

Today I'm just going to vent. Sometimes I feel so much better when I can just write (or type) out my feelings.

My pregnancy was smooth sailing. I couldn't have been luckier. I casually exercised at the beginning of my pregnancy, but really let it take a back seat because of how tired I was most of the time. By the time I hit the mid point, I was so used to doing nothing that I continued doing nothing.

I've always had a huge self image problem. I was never thin enough regardless of my weight. I'm pretty sure what I saw in the mirror was not how other people saw me. I currently weigh the most I've ever weighed in my entire life (not pregnant). Not a single thing I wore when I found out I was pregnant with Ryan in January fits today. Part of me knows I had a baby just 10 weeks ago - 7 of which I was not cleared for exercise. But the other part of me feels like this has always been my life. Like I've always had Ryan and I should just be thin again already.

I return to work soon and had to go out and buy new clothes, just so that I didn't have to wear too-big maternity clothes back to work. The size on the tags were like a huge blow to the gut. It made me want to cry.

I'm obsessive compulsive about it. I count calories to death, I work out - but there isn't much more I can do beyond that, but sit and think about how much weight I have to lose and how much time it's going to take. It's terrible. It makes me feel terrible. I always knew this was part of pregnancy. I tried so hard to talk myself through it ahead of time to make it all ok. I'm now realizing just how hard of a time I'm actually having with it.

I've been counting calories for a week and a half now, going to the gym or getting on the treadmill at home. I've registered for a half marathon with a friend who had a baby in July and we're working our way in to training for the June race. I have half of my baby weight to lose still, plus the pounds I was up when I got pregnant. It's going to be a long hard road, and I wish it didn't have to be. 

my little winter kid

I said I wasn't going to be that mom that bought stupid clothes. I just shouldn't open my mouth sometimes. That's because this reindeer hat is completely awesome.

life with Ryan

These last two months have been a whirlwind. This little boy has grown so incredibly fast.

In the last two months Ryan has been sick with an eye and ear infection and struggled with weight gain. He's started smiling and cooing. He's had his very first set of vaccinations and only just grew out of his newborn size clothes a week ago. He's happy, healthy and pretty darn agreeable to just about anything I ask him to do.

In just 3 short weeks I return to work full time and I'm going to miss him so much. I chose to work just a handful of days this month with my first day being this last Tuesday. I was away from him for 8 hours, and it seemed like the longest 8 hours ever. The sheer excitement that came from that adorable child when he laid eyes on me after that 8 hours absolutely melted my heart!

Here are some photos from Ryan's first month:

Ryan & Daddy

Auntie Erica

Grandma

Grandpa

On the way home!

First time sleeping at home.

Cuddled up with daddy.

Daddy loving his little boy.

So tiny on Grandpa's chest.

Ryan's first Halloween

I don't spend a lot of time on the computer anymore, he keeps me pretty darn busy, so I hope to start updating more often soon.