today

Curious hands & chubby fingers made me happy.

Our Christmas

As I lay here in bed listening to Ryan while he sleeps, I can say without a doubt, this was the best Christmas ever.





Hoping you and yours had a very special holiday and we wish you the best for the new year.

-C

our first family photos

This last Saturday we had a friend take our first family photos. I was starting to have a lot of regret for not having maternity or newborn photos taken of myself and Ryan. I mentioned it to Jim and he said we could still get photos done while Ryan is still itty bitty. Though he's not his newborn 7lbs, these are still so fabulous.

All photos were taken by Ciera of Pixiedust Photography. She's an incredibly talented photographer with a passion for child and family photography. You can find her work on her blog, Pixiedust Photography and her Facebook page.

discovering new things

I've seen a lot of change in Ryan over this last week. He's suddenly becoming so much more aware of the things around him. He has been grasping at his blanket or burp cloth, feeling and inspecting it, and moving them around.

I had literally given him a toy just last weekend to see if he'd like looking at it. I'm not even sure he realized it was there. After this new discovery, I pulled out a little stuffed elephant that was given to him to see if he'd be interested in it. My goodness, does he like it!

He loves to hold on to it. Regardless of whether he's actively playing with it, his little hand is grasping an ear or a foot on that little elephant. He'll sit and have a whole baby conversation with it. Cooing, smiling and giggling at it. I find it so fascinating. I was afraid of losing that tiny, cuddly infant, but these new discoveries sure are fun.

let's get real here: the weight debate

Today I'm just going to vent. Sometimes I feel so much better when I can just write (or type) out my feelings.

My pregnancy was smooth sailing. I couldn't have been luckier. I casually exercised at the beginning of my pregnancy, but really let it take a back seat because of how tired I was most of the time. By the time I hit the mid point, I was so used to doing nothing that I continued doing nothing.

I've always had a huge self image problem. I was never thin enough regardless of my weight. I'm pretty sure what I saw in the mirror was not how other people saw me. I currently weigh the most I've ever weighed in my entire life (not pregnant). Not a single thing I wore when I found out I was pregnant with Ryan in January fits today. Part of me knows I had a baby just 10 weeks ago - 7 of which I was not cleared for exercise. But the other part of me feels like this has always been my life. Like I've always had Ryan and I should just be thin again already.

I return to work soon and had to go out and buy new clothes, just so that I didn't have to wear too-big maternity clothes back to work. The size on the tags were like a huge blow to the gut. It made me want to cry.

I'm obsessive compulsive about it. I count calories to death, I work out - but there isn't much more I can do beyond that, but sit and think about how much weight I have to lose and how much time it's going to take. It's terrible. It makes me feel terrible. I always knew this was part of pregnancy. I tried so hard to talk myself through it ahead of time to make it all ok. I'm now realizing just how hard of a time I'm actually having with it.

I've been counting calories for a week and a half now, going to the gym or getting on the treadmill at home. I've registered for a half marathon with a friend who had a baby in July and we're working our way in to training for the June race. I have half of my baby weight to lose still, plus the pounds I was up when I got pregnant. It's going to be a long hard road, and I wish it didn't have to be. 

my little winter kid

I said I wasn't going to be that mom that bought stupid clothes. I just shouldn't open my mouth sometimes. That's because this reindeer hat is completely awesome.

life with Ryan

These last two months have been a whirlwind. This little boy has grown so incredibly fast.

In the last two months Ryan has been sick with an eye and ear infection and struggled with weight gain. He's started smiling and cooing. He's had his very first set of vaccinations and only just grew out of his newborn size clothes a week ago. He's happy, healthy and pretty darn agreeable to just about anything I ask him to do.

In just 3 short weeks I return to work full time and I'm going to miss him so much. I chose to work just a handful of days this month with my first day being this last Tuesday. I was away from him for 8 hours, and it seemed like the longest 8 hours ever. The sheer excitement that came from that adorable child when he laid eyes on me after that 8 hours absolutely melted my heart!

Here are some photos from Ryan's first month:

Ryan & Daddy

Auntie Erica

Grandma

Grandpa

On the way home!

First time sleeping at home.

Cuddled up with daddy.

Daddy loving his little boy.

So tiny on Grandpa's chest.

Ryan's first Halloween

I don't spend a lot of time on the computer anymore, he keeps me pretty darn busy, so I hope to start updating more often soon.

Welcome Ryan!

Welcome to the world Ryan James!

October 1st, 2011 - 8:43pm

7lbs 14oz - 19 3/4"

Ryan is truly the single greatest joy in our lives. He was welcomed via c section last Saturday evening perfect in every way. Being parents to this beautiful child has been far more rewarding than we could have even imagined. Each day we look at him, we can't believe this is our life. We have been truly blessed over this last year.

The things I'll miss the most.

The days seem to be passing so much slower. I've felt like my weekends have been extra long. I still don't feel as though I'm in a hurry to meet this little guy, but I think that's because of the things I'll miss the most.

21 weeks ago I felt him move for the first time, knowing it was really him. It's been incredible experiencing him grow and the change in his movement over the months.

Not that I want to be selfish, but I love having him all to myself. I like "taking him to work" and feeling like all I have to do is poke at him and he wakes up and keeps me company.

A soapy belly. As weird as it sounds, I love washing my belly in the shower. It's like it tickles him, and as I swirl the loofah around in circles it's like he's stirring in my belly.

A dang good excuse for a pedicure. Since I can't reach and all!

Relaxing. I may not always be comfortable, but I'm a relaxing pro.

Preparation and anticipation. I think that's going to be replaced with worry to an extent. Who doesn't worry about their children?

In turn there are things I won't miss. Growing out of the biggest maternity clothes I have. Horrid heart burn. Swollen hands and feet. The round puffy face. Having to pee every hour! Hearing how huge I've gotten. The sore back.

But all those things have are minimal compared to the entire experience. I love pregnancy and will venture this road again. Just not too soon.

38 Weeks

I'm 9 days away from my due date as I write this. I don't know where the time has gone over this last year. It's been the best year of my life, with just a few months left that will give even better moments.

Coming in to this week of pregnancy was rough. I was exhausted, my blood pressure was high at my last appointment and I'm experiencing major fluid retention. In the prior weeks I'd simply overdone it. I was told to stop pretending I'm not pregnant and to restrict my activities. It's hard, but I'm making it work. No sign of our handsome man as of now, but that's ok. I'm huge and uncomfortable, but he's been asked not to come early (we had a talk!). I'm finishing up last minute nesting and trying to enjoy work as much as I can in these last couple weeks. It's going to be great having a long maternity leave, but I'll miss the job.

I don't know what this whole parenting thing will be like, but I'm sure looking forward to the challenge.

To my fellow blog friends expecting, I hope you're all well. Kate, I hope the new baby girl is just wonderful. Leah, I'm hoping your little man makes his appearance soon. Care, I'm hoping all is well with you and you're feeling good! December isn't far away for you!

Weeks 34 - 37

I hit 37 weeks yesterday and I have to say, I think I'm done. My little body has expanded to it's limits and I feel like my belly is going to pop every time that baby boy moves around. I still love the movement, and I know I'll miss it, but I'm also getting anxious to shed a little weight and feel lighter and more flexible.

34 weeks

35 weeks

36 weeks

37 weeks

It truly amazes me how big one's belly can actually get once I put all the pictures together in order. It's too weird. I have started to feel this week like I don't know how I got here. I feel like I literally just found out I was pregnant. Now my little boy is full term and will be just fine making his entrance from here on out. Oh baby boy, please spare mommy and don't get too much bigger! I'm getting tired!

In other news, we've finally completed the master remodel enough to move in. It's an amazing space! So much larger, it has a bathroom of it's own and the laundry is right there. We still have some finish work to do in the bathroom and a sink to plumb, as well as the last of the trim and beadboard in the laundry. Two more days of work maximum at the rate we're able to work together right now. My husband has been a complete joy to spend time with and he's worked so hard. The guy definitely deserves something special for creating me such a great space! I always mention how I'll share "after" photos when my projects are done (who remembers the kitchen that's never been seen?), but I do fully promise on this one. I'm far too excited not to share.

Just 20 days until my due date. I'm still working on the last minute stuff like installing the carseat, packing the hospital bag and finishing up the baby laundry. Wish me luck and this whole journey starts coming to a close!