Maybe we just want them. Either way, I sometimes feel like girlfriends are lacking in my life.
Over my years growing up, I've always felt I'd been burned by every close girlfriend I've ever had. I'd like to credit it to the fact that I was young, trusting, impressionable and naive. It seems as though they've always come and go no matter how much effort I put in to the friendship. At the age of 17, the way I felt caused me to change who I was.
I became honest and outspoken. I began to give up the fear of confrontation and spoke my opinions freely when asked. I've still struggled with caring too much of what people think of me, but not enough to keep me from being honest. I'm not one to just agree if I don't.
I consider the title of best friend to be a little juvenile now-a-days. That could very well be because I easily hold grudges. Though I'd like to say I'm not holding a grudge against my last best friend, when I think about what transpired between the two of us, I still feel like I was wronged. Her and I are still in contact. We talk every few months and travel the hour and a half to see each other once or twice a year, but with the directions our lives have gone our friendship just isn't the same.
I call my husband my best friend now. As I think all marriages should be, he and I love spending time together. We rarely do something without the other and that's simply because we just don't want to. We share the same friends and we feel equally liked as both individuals and a couple. I find it sweet when I mention I don't have a best friend and he inqures to know where his title went. I sure love him.
In the end though, I still wish I had a close girlfriend like I did in my past life. Someone to talk to every day. Someone to run and grab a coffee with just to get out in the sun for a while. Someone to run to the store with just because you feel like ravaging the clearance racks at Target. I still wish I had a girlfriend who I saw every weekend because it was rare that we ever made plans without each other.
I think this just goes to show I'm growing up. I'm two months from 27, I'm married with a busy career. Not everyone has the time that we used to for the same relationships. Instead of taking the women in my life for granted, the ones who care about me and like spending time with me when their schedule allows, I should embrace the fact that I still have girlfriends. Just not the same kind of girlfriend relationship I used to have.
In the end, I think we all need someone. Right?